AS MAYOR OF THIS TOWN...

Holla Portman...Hollaaaaaaaaaaa

2006-03-07T20:42:00.000-05:00

Natalie Portman rips a mad rap yo. Watch this now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIyC7cDJhpY&search=snl

How funny and strangely hot was that?

Those Digital Shorts rule. If you haven't been watching Saturday Night Live lately...START. It is blooming. This season has shown signs of a potential dawning of a new era for the program. Remember SNL is cyclical. It ebbs and flows with the comings and goings of cast members and writers. After the loss of Will Ferrel (among others) a few years back the show creatively suffered. However it's been particularly strong this year. They are on to something. So tune in if ya get a chance. Or just wait for someone much cooler than you to send you a link on youtube.com.

On that note, how great is youtube.com. ??? Have you seen this website? It be chock full of videos! Visit it the next time you are bored at work.

Look at me being all helpful. I live to give peeps...

Oscar Wrap Up

2006-03-06T19:23:00.000-05:00

Here are my random musings about last night's Oscars:

-I was very happy with Jon Stewart's performance as host. I thought he did a good job. He was funny, he handled himself well and didn't seem out of place at all (which I think ultimately was one of Letterman's shortcomings. There were memorable moments from Letterman's hosting gig but he looked visibly uncomfortable in the role. Completely out of his element). The opening video segment was excellent with its star studded cameos and former hosts getting in on the fun. Great stuff. Stewart's monologue was also strong. I have to say, canning the opening song and dance number is an Oscar trend I am fully behind. Nothing says archaic like an Oscar song and dance medley. Sorry Billy Crystal it was cute back in the early 90's BUT...

Let's be honest, last night had some genuinely funny moments and alot of them were thanks to Stewart, especially his ability to think quickly on his feet. "Scorsese zero Oscars, Three Six Mafia...one." He earned his paycheque with that line alone. An instant classic. I would bring him back for another round next year. Then again, I also enjoyed Chris Rock last year...but hey, what do I know?

-How hot is Jessica Alba? Honestly, there should be a law against this.

-George Clooney is the man. Period. Coolest Cat in Hollywood bar none. Starting his acceptance speech for the Best Supporting Actor award with "...I guess I am not winning Director" was brilliant. The man I tells ya. THE MAN.

-Charlize Theron is beautiful...but, what the hell was with her dress? What was that large mass of poofness on her shoulder? Did the dress have a goiter?

-Ben Stiller doing the green screen/special effects award bit....HILLARIOUS. Now that shit was funny.

-I think they over did it with the montage sequences, no? What exactly was the point of that Film Noir homage? They weren't paying tribute to a director or writer and nor were they recognizing an actor. They just wanted to show clips of some old movies that were film noir...I guess? Ummm...thanks for....that. I believe the technical term is called "stretching for time"

-Someone needs to examine that tele-prompter and if it was working properly. Or perhaps we need to get Hollywood hooked on phonics because that was some bad prompted reading last night. Wow. A LOT of screw ups. No offense here, I know she is old but damn did Lauren Bacall struggle with that. That was painful. It was like watching a grade six spelling bee.

-I love Selma Hayek. Bueno!!!

-I think the show would have been better if Jennifer Garner had tripped. But that might just be me...

-Apparently Memoirs of a Geisha is a technically strong film. What did it win like 5 of those editing, cinematography, costume-like awards? Of course it wasn't nominated for any acting, writing, directing or best picture...but I am sure it's TECHNICALLY a good film.

-Three Six Mafia. That still cracks me up...

-Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Great Actor. Bad acceptance speech

-Crash as best picture? Hmmm....not sure about that one. Them gay cowboys were robbed dang nabbit!!!

Until next year...

Open Up!....RF!

2006-02-27T13:26:00.000-05:00

The world of comical misunderstandings and sexual double entendres lost a legend recently. Don Knotts passed away on late Friday February 24th in Beverly Hills. To most, Knotts was probably best known as Barney Fife on the Andy Griffith Show but to me he will always be Ralph Furley, the swingin' landlord from Three's Company. Ralph Furley was an icon from the goofy sitcoms of the late 70's/early 80's era. The man just postively ruled. From his choice of flamboyant clothing, his exageratted facial expressions to his inflated but so-undeserved confidence in the pursuit of the finer sex. The man was a god amongst men. I mean, no one could snort and pull up their pants with more verve than Ralph Furley people. Just watch the man in action. Here's a little trip down memory lane for those of my generation- the debut of Furley on Three's Company:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=cEIxOyI8SFw&search=don%20knotts

Ahhh doesn't that take you back? Come and knock on our door....We'll be waiting for you....where the kisses are hers and hers and his. Now that was a sitcom!

Knotts really epitomized an age of comedy that is long since gone. He was a rock in the times of goofy and wacky comedy. A period where comedy was played OVER the top with reckless abandon. Over the top was all he and his peers knew. With his cartoonish looks, wobbly voice and magnified expressions, Knotts played it big all the time. He couldn't just be surprised, he had to have his eyes damn near pop out of his head. There were no limits to the expanse of his comedy. And we are all better for it me thinks.

Rest in peace Ralph Furley...

It's happy hour at the Regal Beagle!

M.I.A

2006-02-23T20:03:00.000-05:00

I hate working for a living. It distracts me from doing the things I really like to do-

1) Socialize with friends
2) Drink
3) Write
4) Listen to music
5) Watch countless hours of movies and television
6) Read magazines and comic books in my underwear
7) Surf the internet for geeky goodness (aka porn)
8) Dance

Umm...scratch that last one. I think meant to say drink again.

After I put some of this work to bed I will back with a vengeance. A vengeance I tells ya!!!

After these messages....we'll be rightttttttttttttttttttttttt back.

Beer and Porn- Finally Together!

2006-02-15T20:43:00.000-05:00

Alexander Keith's beer TV spokesperson facing child porn charges.

Clearly there are no heroes left.

...well, at least we still have ALF! You'll never find dirt on him.

I'll be ready (I'll be ready) Never you fear. (No don't you fear)

2006-02-09T11:10:00.000-05:00

Work has FINALLY begun on Baywatch the movie. Oh yes, the wait is finally over fans. Baywatch creator/star, German celebrity and all around jackass David Hasselholff had this to say about the upcoming film:

"It will be set in different locations around the world. There will be lifeguards who are also sent on crime-busting sprees."

This may very well be the greatest movie ever...

Grammy Thoughts

2006-02-09T10:02:00.000-05:00

10 random thoughts about the Grammys-

10) How bad did Coldplay massacre that song last night? EEP! That was the ugly
9) Does anyone else think that Fergie is SUCH a but-her face? Or is that just me?
8) Sly Stone scared me.
7) Okay, Madonna looks great for her age. No question. But please stop wearing the leotard. Please! It burns.
6) Who is on the Grammy voting committee? How in the hell are Bonnie Rait and Sheryl Crow STILL up for major awards? Someone please explain this to me? I'm the boss, need the info.
5) Say what you will about Paul McCartney and how he is beyond bordering on self parody but that was effin' cool when he belted out Helter Skelter. Give 'er Paul!
4) Kayne West can shut up about righhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht NOW.
3) For the love of all things holy, Tom Hanks cut your hair!!!
2) Isn't it a sad state of affairs when the (apparently) most preminent awards show about music is dominated by Kelly Clarkson. Bring on the four horseman of the apocalypse.
1) Last night was proof positive that the Grammys are completely irrelevant.

Keep on Goth'in

2006-02-07T20:02:00.000-05:00

So there I was on the subway today treking home from a long days work when I spotted some interesting characters that I felt inclined to analyze. Subways I find make for ideal people watching opportunities (or peeping as we say in the club) seeing as how they are commonly frequented by the dregs of the city. You get all types on the underground transit but without a doubt it's a guarantee you will be exposed to youth culture. (See how I avoided aging myself by saying youth culture as opposed to "kids", "young people" or "crazy punks". It's a gift of mine) Youth of today in most cases just mildly annoy me but hardly even register a blip on my radar. However it is often difficult to avoid monitoring their fashion trends. Like for example today, when I spotted three young peeps on the subway who were totally embracing the goth lifestyle.

Now for those not in the know, Goth is typically distinguished by those who wear a lot of jet black (especially their hair), their clothing has a medievel flair to it, they have pale skin (often enhanced by make up) and their demeanour is mournful, dismal and somewhat gloomy. It's all about the bleak with the goths.

Clearly I understand that everyone has their own fashion sense. And young adults are the most likely to embrace trends. But I've never really understood the whole Goth fashion??? To me it seems rather shortsighted no? You must know going into it that you are only going to dress like this for a short window of time. You have to? I mean who has ever seen a 40 year old goth? Let alone a senior citizen couple who are still bleakin' it up. Seems like a rather limited fashion proposition to me.

You know preppies remain relatively preppy throughout their life, jocks still dress like jocks even into their fifties and cowboy/western jackasses will epitomize their hick fashion sense until they die. Even a punk lifestyle can be maintained somewhat into your adulthood. It's not uncommon to find older people who still mirror their youth fashion sense with either short hair, long hair, facial hair, piercings, wearing combat boots etc. But this whole Goth with its medievel meets vampire, I haven't been exposed to the sun and I drink from a chalice-like fashion sense is so obviously short term that it doesn't even seem worth the effort. It's the incomplete sentence of fashion statements.

Oh but wait, maybe it's a state of mind? No, cause you know what? You can have a dim view of things and no hope but still wear some colour!

Mediocre Monday

2006-02-06T13:46:00.000-05:00

So it was Super Sunday last night...To be honest I am not sure I would describe it as "Super", maybe better than your average Sunday is more appropriate.

As expected I gathered with some peeps and watched the big game on Sunday night. Drinks in hand, Chili served and flat screen LCD TV in full view, I was fully prepared to be wowed by the two football squadrons who were set to do battle on the gridiron. Now I guess at this point I should note that I am not what would be commonly described as a "hardcore football fan". More acurately, I don't think you could even call me "an avid sports fan". Actually to be frank, I think you would be a filthy filthy liar if you even coined me "a casual sports fan". *Ahem* In my defense, I do like some sports...but they are just not widely recognized or perhaps "liked" or "respected" sports. I find the bulk of my sports watching includes wrestling, UFC (ultimate fighting) and boxing. You know now that I write this out, this really isn't helping my defense? I should digress right about now shouldn't I?

My long winded and convoluted point here was that I find I usually watch the Superbowl for the commercials and really not for the game. (though all jokes aside I do enjoy a good Football match. They are called matches aren't they?) Each year one can expect to be exposed to some of the best of advertising during the Superbowl. The biggest budgets, the celebrity endorsements and oh yes, the hilarity...don't forget the funny. Great TV spots have become practically synonomous with the big game. So with this tried and trusted expectation in my head I must say I was extremly let down last night.

What the hell happened advertising folks? How bad and uneventful were the ads this year? I mean did you see that Diet Pepsi ad with P. Diddy?!?! Was that a mess or what? Here's a question...where was the punchline? Was kind of waiting for that. Oh, I see the Diet Pepsi is in a song with Diddy and what was seemingly his entire record label mates. Ummm right. That was an overproduced, overlong, embarrassingly bad concept. But was it worse than Jessica Simpson's Pizza Hut? Not by a long shot. Just god awful stuff. Even often reliable Bud Light delivered uninspired fare.

In fact the only memorable ad in my humble opinion was the following FedEx spot-

http://www.ifilm.com/superbowl *scroll down to FedEx....avoid all others!

So what gives? What was with the lacklustre output this year? Are the over inflated costs per spot proving to be too much of a barrier? (what is it in the States, like $20 trillion dollars for a 30 second ad now?) Is the production for good spots (and celebrity endorsements) getting too costly? Are most creative people in advertising hacks? Or are peoples expectations for simple, stupid advertising just far too high?

Umm...it's the children who are wrong.

My name is Petra and I am going to bring the party to you!

2006-01-30T21:04:00.000-05:00

I just had the fortunate *ahem* pleasure of watching the debut episode of the Muchmusic VJ Search. A brand spankin' new Canadian reality show. Candian Reality Show - Think: reality television on a shoe string budget. That's almost an oxymoron isn't it? Hey, that's Canadian TV for ya, we always find a way to make it not look quite as good as everything else. Don't you notice how every Canadian show has a distinct poor camera quality look to it? The CRTC must enforce they use some cheap lense that was created by a Canadian television industry pioneer. Despite our best efforts almost every show looks like a poor mans version of something else. That's right I said it. Take that CBC!

But I digress... back to the Muchmusic VJ Search. http://www.muchmusic.com/vjsearch/

The show tracks the nation's music station search for a new video jockey (or VJ as they say in the biz). Eventually we are going to get to 10 finalists who must live together (of course) and do some grueling reality tv show-like things as they compete for the ultimate prize. The first episode as expected dealt with the weeding out process from the entire list of applicants which I believe was 2000. So it was the wacky clipshow episode where we saw a multitude of would be VJs from across the country apply for the program.

Y'know watching this I was painfully reminded how much I hate most people.

I can honestly say I wouldn't want to watch 95% of the people that appeared on this program at any time on TV. And that includes the 20 contestants they narrowed it down to. A remote few seemed genuinely funny, interesting or even slightly charismatic. And oh yeah peeps...what is the deal with all the singing, dancing and taking your shirts off?!?!? It's a VJ contest fer gods sake...no one cares if you can dance like friggin Carlton? Do you have an opinion on music? How about that? Do you have a sharp wit that exceeds pulling your pants down and screaming? Can you think on your feet? Would you have any idea how to maintain an interesting conversation with a band?

And I was hoping one more person could rap or tell us they are going to "bring the party to us"...cause that would be just awesome. How lame are you people?

VJs should be cool. They should be interesting, opinionated (on music helps), witty, charismatic, well spoken and unique. But you know what? Being obnoxiously out spoken, overly confident and "seemingly" daring doesn't necessarily make you unique. It can make you annoying.

It's a shame that it appears that the only people who ever seem to be sure of themselves enough to enter things like this usually turn out to be jackasses. While the real cool people just sit on their computer and complain about them.

And the world keeps on turnin'...

OGLE-2005-BLG-390LB, Wind and Fire

2006-01-26T09:09:00.000-05:00

Astrononmers recently detected the most Earth-like planet yet around a star other than our sun. Scientists consider this a major discovery, raising hopes of finding a space rock that might support life. The new planet (which orbits a star about 20,000 light years away) has been named OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb.

Umm...it seems we are a little rusty in the planet naming department no? OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb???? Doesn't really roll off the tongue does it? Pluto...works. Venus...a name to be proud of. Mars...a classic. OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb?? Errrr... I could make up a better planet name on the spot. You doubt me? Watch. Freetoze. Utharinon. Beta Centurion. DONE. That took seconds. OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb? Kind of a mouthful.

And who would really want to live on a planet called OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb? You can't really chant that? It doesn't really lend itself for song lyrics.

OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb Angel.
OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb Angel.
Will you be mine
My darling dear
Love you all the time
I’m just a fool,
A fool in love with you

And how big would your flag have to be? The thing would have to fold out to fit that run-on -sentence of a name.

Shouldn't NASA have like a book of cool names for planets ready and waiting just in case we happen upon other Earth-like planets??? I mean are they discovering THAT many planets that they are using up all the good names?

Hmmm...perhaps they aren't telling us something.....I smells a conspiracy!!!!

Rest In Peace Officer Eddie Pulaski

2006-01-25T09:54:00.000-05:00

"If you fucking beat this prick long enough, he'll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago fire, now that don't necessarily make it fucking so!"

RIP Chris Penn.

Little brother of Sean Penn, probably best known as Nice Guy Eddie from Reservoir Dogs. Yet his true claim to fame came from roles in such blockbusters as "Best of the Best 2", "Beethoven's 2nd" and "Corky Romano". Penn was found dead on Tuesday, January 24th at an apartment in Santa Monica. Cause of death was immediately not known but there was no signs of foul play. Clearly booze and drugs had no part in this...he was the picture of health no? No?

On the brighter side of things...

Family Guy fans rejoice....Stewey is getting his own talk show that will be exclusive to familyguy.com later this year.
http://www.metronews.ca/reuters_entertainment.asp?id=124783

Overkill? What's overkill...? Didn't you hear? More Family Guy on the internet!

Minority Government! Throw Your Hands Up, What!

2006-01-24T09:08:00.000-05:00

http://www.torontosun.com/News/Election/2006/01/24/1409004-sun.html

Conservatives win minority Government!!!

That wasn't English Keith...

Minority Government: A group or party having fewer than a controlling number of votes.

Translation- Ain't nothing changing. And we get to vote again in 6 months!

Cana....DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Monday, Monday

2006-01-23T20:03:00.000-05:00

It's a big day here in Canada...Election Day. The day when 11% of the population will vote on the future of our country. Voting in Canada is a little different. You see we aren't a two party system, oh no, in fact we have a choice of four parties. How's that for selection? Jealous much? You can comparison vote here. Canada is the Wal-Mart of politics baby.

If you must know, I voted NDP. For the simple fact that I enjoy saying "you down with NDP...yeah you know me!" GOLD! I think they also say something good about healthcare or whatever..

Anywho, on to more important issues...

Don't you just love those times when you discover a new album that you just can't stop listening to? No matter how hard you try to resist you just can not break the grasp that this new album has on you. You find yourself repeatedly listening to it front to back and you completely ignore all other music. The album that currently holds this honor to me is the new Strokes album (First Impressions of Earth). It is brilliant. It's just great upbeat downer music. I am really enjoying listening to the evolution of this band. Sure they have a set sound but they are definitely extending the limits this time around. In particular on such tracks as the somber "Ask Me Anything", "Electricityscape" and perhaps one of the strongest songs the bands written yet "Ize of the World". Trust me and give it a listen.

You know what I just realized recently. In todays music landscape, punk is top 40 and pop is underground and alternative. Is this the friggin twilight zone or what?

I went and saw Woody Allen's new film "Match Point" this past weekend and I was pleasantly surprised. I've always appreciated Allen's work. He has a brilliant ear for dialogue. But better, he executes conversations real. A huge pet peeve for me in movies is NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS. In most films it seems like everyone soliloquies. They pick just the right eloquant words and everyone waits for their turn to talk. You talk. I talk. You talk. I talk. Who does this? In Allen's films people stutter, people have incomplete thoughts and people talk over one another. That my friends is REAL. Match Point really surprised me because it was not the film I thought it was going to be. And for the sake of not ruining the picture, that's all I got to say about that. But most of all what made this movie so special was the presence of Scarlett Johansson. Sweet Mary mother of God is this gal just a little slice of heaven. She is old Hollywood classic beautiful. She has great range as an actress. Has a voice that could cripple a man. And that body. Woahh. Honestly, I could watch her viciously berate me for 90 minutes and I would still be breathless.

And ummm yes I am aware she is young. But what you don't know is...she is wise beyond her years.

Shut up she's hot.

Back In The Saddle Again OR How I Named An Article After A Bad Aerosmith Song

2006-01-21T13:50:00.000-05:00

Rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated.

Daddy is back...all is better now. Come let us sit under the learning tree for but a fleeting moment.

I think I had an epiphany recently. A manifestation of the essence. A spirtual flash that has changed the way I view things. Or perhaps I finally got rid of that month long hangover we call the holidays...whatever the case, I have had a sudden intuitive realization that there isn't much joy in my life. One could almost call me joyless if they felt so inclined. Wait, back up...joyless is a strong word. Let me rephrase this or better yet focus my lack of joy to one particular area in this thing I call a life. My career. Well, you can hardly call it a career. My job. Well, you can hardly call it a job. My...thing I do that eats up alot of the hours in my week and gives me a paycheque. (there that'll stick)

As the calendar changed to 2006 I think I finally stumbled upon what has been sapping the lifeforce ever so slowly out of me. And it is my job. I mean let's quickly audit my existance-
-My Family - Good, albeit a pack of weirdos. Oh come on, I joke. I joke. I love you guys. Come on, group noogies.
-My Friends - The best.
-My Enemies- Fabulous. What a wily group this bunch is. You in particular Doctor Murder. What a strange old kook you are! I learn something new everyday from you. Don't go changin'!
-My City- I love where I live. Honestly, Toronto is an amazing place and continues to surprise me.
-My Job- A cesspool for which I have a hatred that burns with the intensity of a thousand suns.

Do you see the problem here? 2006 is going to be the year I make a change people. Oh yes...if it takes baby steps then baby steps it is. But the process begins now! In fact, it's already started because I am back tapping my fingers on this old keyboard. And this time I ain't ever going away.

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Sunshine....on my shoulders

2005-06-27T14:38:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am back. All is right in the world. I will never leave you again. I promise.

Before we get started just wanted to send out a happy belated birthday wish to Coco. Remember my friend...numbers don't make you old. They just make you APPEAR old.

So anywho...

Holy Sweet Hosanah is it hot out eh? My god in heaven, I don't mean to complain but this heat is wicked. (and i mean wicked in the severe and distressing sense not the radically awesome one) Like don't get me wrong friends I do love the summertime and enjoy the hot weather that accompanies it but this heat really doesn't lend itself to the work environment does it? Honestly, humidity is the bane to our working existence. Firstly, commuting is made even less desirable thanks to heat. Mmmm nothing like standing shoulder to shoulder with people on a subway when it's 90 out. Wow, that's a pungent odor you got there fella. Please, stand closer. What a great way to start my day! And there really isn't good summer work wear is there? What can we possibly wear that will make us feel comfortable but yet will also meet the requirements of business appropriate? Hey it's shirtless fridays! Ahhhhh no. Maybe we should all just follow the school system and just take the summers off. Yeah, I think that is a corking idea. Please pass that Mr. Governor!

Is anyone else sick and tired of seeing Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (TomKat) laughing with their alarmingly large gaping mouths on the cover of every god damn magazine yet? Good lord, please make this stop. We get it, you guys are together. And you enjoy laughing, pointing and wearing sunglasses. Plus you both have very large smiles. Done. Let's move on shall we? Doesn't Lindsay Lohan have a eating disorder we can discuss? Isn't Britney Spears a redneck and pregnant? Haven't Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie done something else SEX-ay? Hasn't Russel Crowe beaten up someone lately? Come on people there is other celebrity news out there!!! There just has to be.

How good is music right now? Wow, there are a lot of great albums out now. Not just great albums...great bands period. It feels like a new musical renaissance. I can't even keep up with all the shit I am listening too. It is an exciting time to be a music fan that is for sure. It seems like I am getting turned onto a new band on a daily basis from my close music comrades. Here is just few of my latest favs:
-Bloc Party "Silent Alarm". Damn is this good. Best new british band in some time. Get this NOW!!!!
-Death From Above 1979 "You're A Woman, I'm a Machine". Well it appears I won't be needing these socks...as they just got blown the hell off. It's disco punk. It's new wave Black Sabbath. It rocks plain and simple.
-Beck "Guero". God bless Beck Hansen. Another winner!
-Oasis "Don't Believe The Hype". I don't care what anyone thinks. Oasis is alllllllllllllright.
-White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan". Not what you are expecting...but still brilliant. Clearly the best album title of the year.
-Keane "Hopes and Fears". Yes, I can be mellow.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I am spent.

I'm back be-atch!

2005-06-09T17:32:00.000-04:00

What the, there is a new post?...oh you better believe it buddy.

I am sorry my friends for the month off but I have been on a sabattical recharging my batteries. I have been listening to TONS of music, watching a lot of movies and of course getting up to no good while I revel in my singlelife freedom.

Top o' the world ma.

More to come peeps.

Cruisin' the cradle

2005-04-28T09:07:00.000-04:00

Tom Cruise is dating Katie Holmes.

http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/2005/04/28/1016045.html

Apparently according to sources the 42 year old actor and the 26 year old actress have been dating for a few weeks. Wow. How very....non-gay of him.

Random Musings...

2005-04-27T16:55:00.000-04:00

I have but a minute to spare from my fast paced, hectic life. Just enough time to wax poetic on the whos and whats of this crazy world. Buckle up.

So what is going on?

The Amazing Race continues to kick much ass. The greatest question currently pondering humankind is how in the blue hell are Gretchen and Meredith still in this race? HOW? God bless them...but what miracle of science is keeping them going? It defies logic. That said, I still believe Boston Rob and Amber are soooooooo gonna win. Cause they're wily.

Thanks to my trusted iPod I have been listening to even MORE music than normal. A few things I am really digging right now are: Bloc Party "Silent Alarm". Really good new British band. Think Blur with a touch of early 80's new wave. Good stuff...it rocks. Ben Folds "Songs for Silverman". Come on now, how can you not like Ben Folds? Pop music at its finest. Clearly this guy doesn't put out enough material. And finally, I heard the new Oasis single "Lyla" from their forthcoming CD. I don't care what all you hatas say...Oasis is allllllllllllright in my books. The new single totally works. Really looking forward to when the new album drops.

Now I am not the biggest videogame guy in the world but last weekend I was nursing a hangover on saturday so my cousin and I chilled and rented a game for my PS2 to play that night. We got "God of War". Well I say god damn! Holy cow does this game rock. The story, the visuals, the characters, the relentless violence, the gameplay everything. This is a triumph in terms of game design. Did I mention this game is balls to the wall? Wow. If you like this sorta stuff (and I know you do) do yourself a favour and play this game. NOW!!!!!

The force is strong with this one...

2005-04-27T12:07:00.000-04:00

Star Wars geek alert!

Ohhhh boy we are getting really close to the launch of the third and final Star Wars flick. Can I get a hell yeah! Alright control yourself. To further fuel the fan fires some early reviews are starting to pop up now. George Lucas apparently recently screened the finished film to some of his filmmaker friends including a one Mr. Kevin Smith. Upon viewing Smith posted a review on his message board (Viewaskew.com).

To say the review was positive would be an incredible understatement. He opens with "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome."

http://viewaskew.com/theboard/viewtopic.php?t=32494

Be warned my young padawan the review is very spoiler heavy. (I presume...I only scanned. I tried to avoid too much detail). But Smith did confirm one spoiler that has been floating around the Net for sometime. Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Booo Yahhh. Sorry, Sorry.

How about I just see this movie already? So I can just stop boring you all with my endless rants of geekiness. Please...let this end. Think of the people.

Damn those viruses...always one step ahead of me!

2005-04-26T16:56:00.000-04:00

Please excuse my tardiness at updating but my home computer is on the fritz. Complete fritz. Damn these infernal viruses. There was a small window of time between when I updated the latest version of norton anti-virus. So in essence for a brief moment in time I was norton anti-virus-less. Just a wee stitch in time. But some tricky little virus snuck in during that downtime. Ohhhh and I got nailed by a good one. A real doozy as the kids say. It did a number on my poor little computo. As far as viruses go, this must have been a good one. I shall name thee KING VIRUS The All Powerful. In a nutshell, it basically was causing my computer to sporadically shut down. I would be working along writing my words of clever wit and wisdom for you my hungry blog audience and suddenly CRASH. Off. Done. Kaputt. Computer rebooting. When it started doing this more frequently and began interupting more important endeavors like ummm let's say porn surfing (them just jokes. *ahem*) I knew it was time to get that darn thing fixed. So alas, I am without a computer at home. Temporarily.

You know, I never understood the point of a computer virus. Sure I can understand if you are trying to dismantle the CIA or infiltrate a major corporation. But what do you really get out of screwing up some shmo like me's computer?!?! What good is that? "My plan has come to fruition. Michael DiGiovanni won't be able to check his email for a week. Mwoo Ha Ha Ha!" Wow, what a machiavellian plot?!? The most puzzling part of computer viruses is the person who creates and distributes them never actually sees the outcome. It is like blind vandalism. What fun is that?

Boo to viruses. But don't you worry peeps this virus won't take me out...I will keep on keepin' on.

Yo Pope, beer me!

2005-04-20T18:01:00.000-04:00

Free beer in new Pope's home town

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1363729.html?menu=

PART-AY! Benedict is the new Pope. Kegger man, Kegger!!!!

Jesus loves beer.

Young Whi-pope-snapper!

2005-04-19T14:03:00.000-04:00

New Pope elected!

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/World/2005/04/07/987085-ap.html

78 year old Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger of Germany was elected Pope on Tuesday evening. (Germans always one step ahead of us!!) 78?!?! Isn't that a little young for this kind of promotion? Clearly he knew people. Those that know Ratzinger say he always was a real go getter.

Ratzinger is apparently estactic to be the new Pope, especially this early in life. "I feel really good about where my career is at right now. I know there are going to be those that are going to judge me because of my age...he's so young bla bla bla. But you know what? I am 78 and I am the Pope. So get over it. Who cares If I am young. Numbers don't make you young alright. It's what you got inside that counts. (motions to his heart) Damn. Just gets me so frustrated all this negativity. (takes drink from chalice) I am the Pope Benedict XVI y'all. Testify. And I am going to be a great Pope right up until I retire at 108. I ain't going nowhere! PUHHHeace"

Springy Spring Spring....Spring.

2005-04-17T17:43:00.000-04:00

Oh, what's going on. What's going on. Ya, what's going on. Ah, what's going on

Come back Marvin Gaye...we need ya!

God I love Spring. It is truly a rejuvenating time of year. I fully believe that we are influenced heavily by the elements. Once that sun starts shining people come out of their proverbial shells. There is life again. There is activity. Dare I say...there is a buzz. (No I shall not dare...I hate the term "buzz") People are out and about flashing smiles. It is quite the scene. I like Spring is all I am saying here.

One thing that always annoys me though at the early phases of the changing seasons are those premature seasonal clothing wearer types. You know these people. That guy that busts out the tank top and shorts at the first sign of improved weather. Even though it is soooooo not warranted. It is just a couple degrees above zero but this clown has decided that shorts are appropriate gear. "Screw Spring. The suns out, it's like Summer...I'm wearing my skivvies!" Listen friend, we know you are excited about the weather but it's only warm-ER. Let's not get carried away here. There will be a lot of time for your cut off jean shorts action. Give it time sunshine...

So what else be goin' on yo. (as the kids say)

I was out at a houseparty this weekend. (No Kid...but I think Play was there. Briefly.) Like any good party there was quite a bit of alcohol consumed throughout the evening. A few of the guests helped reinforce a theory I hold dear. Annoying drunk is the worse drunk of them all. Oh it's true. I would take Sloppy drunk over Annoying drunk any day. Sloppy drunk is manageable. A little of bit slurring, perhaps some tripping and the occasional knocking over of things. Not recommended but you can deal with it. Annoying drunk is just bad. These are the people who literally becoming aggravating and in some cases retarded after having a few drinks. They never shut up, feel it necessary to scream everything, there is a lot of woo'ing and hollering and they degrade to infant level maturity "let's give everyone at the party nicknames...yeah, that'd be awesome!". Quite honestly it is like these people have never drank before in their life. It is almost embarrassing. Annoying drunk is just wrong especially in the close quarters of a small houseparty. Please the next time you drink...get sloppy drunk.

That's right, there is a message today.

Shits and giggles

2005-04-13T09:47:00.000-04:00

The sun is shining. The crazy Canadian winter may just be behind us. Clearly I just jinxed us didn't I? Damn this blog for making me write out loud.

So what be happening in the world?

Why can I never win at this bloody Tim Horton's roll up the rim to win contest? WHY? I drink their coffee every single god forsaken day and none of my cups can be a winner? None. This thing is fixed. Sure the Panasonic home theatre or the GMC Envoy would be swell. I would even take the friggin' Coleman camping package (yes, I would take a tent for cryin' out loud). Hell, at this point I'd settle for a simple free coffee. I want to win. Nay, I NEED to win just to may sure this contest is on the up and up. It's principal now.

Missing Baby Found, Mom Arrested.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2005/04/12/994001-cp.html
Umm...was that the ONLY photo they had on file of this woman? NOW THAT IS FUNNY.

Britney Spears officially announces via her website that she is pregnant. Finally after weeks of speculation the truth is out. The rumor mills have been put to rest. Rejoice Brit is expecting! Y'know? This really changes nothing in my life. What a let down.

Mel Gibson is reportedly set to turn Pope John Paul II's story into a Hollywood movie.
http://www.ananova.com/entertainment/story/sm_1353948.html?menu=entertainment.celebrities
How noble is this guy? How about he just films the entire bible. How about that? Just adapt the whole thing. And then we promise we will make you a saint.

Annnnnnnd I am spent.

You're arrested

2005-04-11T13:50:00.000-04:00

Apprentice contestant arrested!

http://jam.canoe.ca/Television/2005/04/11/991830-ap.html

Geez, I wonder if he won?!!? Thanks for the spoiler.

Dodging a bullet

2005-04-11T12:23:00.000-04:00

Thank the sweet lord the TTC strike was averted. I would literally have had no way to get to work.

*slight pause*

*continue pausing*

I hate the TTC.

Thoughts and Whatnots

2005-04-10T12:18:00.000-04:00

It is sunny out and all is right in the world. Get off the computer and get outside. There is a whole world waiting for you out there.

Well, wait until you finish reading my ramblings first of course. This should only take a moment.

Finally got myself an iPod. I marvel at how I ever existed without this glorious device. Clearly this is my favourite new toy. I can not put this thing down. I am listening to music all the time and it is quite excellent. Look at me, I have a soundtrack to my life!! Ahhhhh technology...is there anything you can't do?

While on the topic of music I thought I would throw out a few recommendations. The new Beck album "Guero" is brilliant. Rock is the flavour of the moment for Beck and it totally works. "Girl" is a perfect summer song. You can't not want to jump in a convertible and listen to this sucka. I highly recommend a listen. I am also currently digging The Donnas "Gold Medal" and The Game "The Documentary". Did I just say the Game? Yup, that's right kids, I am from the streets.

And the "Why do you turn this blog into a house of LIES?!?!" award goes to this article-

Cameron Diaz hates her bum
http://www.ananova.com/entertainment/story/sm_1344951.html?menu=entertainment.celebrities

Huh? What's not to like? Want to touch the heinie.

Some quick TV thoughts:

I am making a prediction right now. Boston Rob and Amber are going to win the Amazing Race. That's right, I said it.

Do I even need to explain how great LOST is still? Come on, how great was that last episode. BOONE Nooooooooooo!!!!

Pamela Anderson is doing a sitcom? "Stacked" (Ohhh I get it. It alludes to her giant breasts. Very clever.) launches this upcoming week on FOX. I give it 6 weeks.

Spike TV ran the finale of its UFC reality show "The Ultimate Fighter" this past weekend. The Griffin/Bonnar fight was an absolute war. A great brawl. For all you men that enjoy this sort of stuff, check it out. I am sure Spike TV will re-run this thing like 3 million times considering they have four programs currently on air.

Well that is it for me...I gotta get....outside.

Give me a break already....

2005-04-08T15:50:00.000-04:00

They are blaming the obesity of children on the Cookie Monster?!?!

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/07/tv.cookie.lessmonster.ap/index.html

Sesame Street now has Cookie Monster advocating healthy eating. What the? That is like a contradiction of his character? He eats cookies. It's what he does. It's who he is man. He is a monster for them cookies. He is THE Cookie Monster. It's all he knows. The cookies man, it's what he is about. How can he be anything else?

"Yo Cookie Monster, ma' man what up? Whatcha doin?"
"Hey...just eating a celery stick. You should try one they sure are healthy"

That sooo doesn't work.

He can't push healthy food. He'd be frontin'. You heard it here first folks, Sesame Street wants Cookie Monster to front.

Let the monster eat his cookies. The kids will be fine. Let Bert or friggin' Elmo push the virtues of carrots.

I'm walking, yes indeed I'm talking

2005-04-08T15:01:00.000-04:00

TTC strike in the T-Dot effective Monday April 11th. And all the commuters scream!!! Wave your arms in the air and wave them like you just can't get to friggin work on monday! Alright....yahhh, where my dawgs at?

Holy sheeeee-ite this is not good. Guess I am walking? Damn, you don't realize how important transit is...until it is gone.

*sniff*

TTC I want you back. Come back. I can change!!!

Girl gets around

2005-04-06T09:35:00.000-04:00

Lindsay Lohan whorin' alert!

It is now being reported that Lohan has been messing around with Christian Slater. Damn, this girl is having fun huh? Good thing she is 18!!!

She must have a fake ID.

Didn't see that coming?!?!

2005-04-05T17:12:00.000-04:00

Britney struggling to remain relevant day 304...

Britney Spears to appear in her own reality show!
http://jam.canoe.ca/Television/2005/04/05/983381.html

That's right boys and girls, Mrs. Federline and her trashy husband are FINALLY set to star in their very own reality show on UPN. Wow, a reality show...what a shocking development! Who'd a thunk it?!?! (sarcasm alert. sarcasm alert.) Way to stay ahead of the curve Brit...

See Britney like you've never seen her before: wearing cut off jean shorts, smoking, cursing and embracing her redneck roots. Oh wait...been there, done that. Well, maybe husband Kevin will emerge as the breakout star of the show? He's from the streets don't ya know. Isn't he? Errr...right?

Let the wacky hijinx ensue.

Sin City Rules!

2005-04-03T16:17:00.000-04:00

God Damn...

Sin City is an enormous success. An absolute masterpiece filled with style, blood, guts, lowlifes and dames. Co-directors Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller (The creator of the Sin City graphic novels) have crafted a stunning piece of work here. This is truly an amazing achievement not for just how well it adapted the original comic book material but for how bold and unique of a film it is. Though the genre may feel familiar Sin City is unlike anything you have seen before. It is a tough as nails, over the top, ultra violent, intense, mind fuck of a movie. And man oh man does it work.

The film has a dynamite visual style, classic pulp dialogue fit for the likes of James Cagney and very strong acting. Bruce Willis, Clive Owen and especially Mickey Rourke (covered under make up as Marv) all nail it. They are terrific. The huge supporting cast (even with knowing the billing I was still surprised how many people showed up in this film) is also very willing and able. The standout in my opinion is Benico Del Toro who just tears it up in this film. He practically eats the scenery.

Sin City is an unparelleled vision. I think it is unfair to call it simply a great comic book movie because it is more than that. This is a GREAT MOVIE. Plain and simple.

See it now. But be prepared, this sonbitch is balls to the wall.

Random musings...

2005-04-02T09:18:00.000-05:00

If you can friggin' believe it, it is snowing this morning in Toronto. Snowing!?!? After we just had three days of pure spring weather. (above 10 at times) Me no understand. I give up, I absolutely give up trying to predict the weather patterns in this blinkin' country. If it rains frogs tomorrow I will not be surprised.

So my laziness at updating this blog continues (I am a busy cat y'all) so we have a lot to get to. What has been going on?

It is Pope Death Watch Day 2 and news from the vatican is he is now "lingering" towards death. I am sorry for the morbid sarcasm BUT can we not let this man pass in peace people? Are the updates every two seconds really necessary? "This just in...the Pope is losing consciousness. No wait, he's back!" Come on, keep us up to date but tracking his every spasm is a little disrespectful.

Isn't it incredible that some people still get a kick out of doing "April Fool's" jokes? And every year it is the same damn joke.
"Hi Brian, we have some bad news for you this morning...we are going to have to let you go. Ohhhhhh....April Fools! Got ya, got ya! Shoulda seen your face!"
Awwww look at you Sinbad. Hillarious. Telling me I am fired and then quickly reminding me it is April Fools. Simply genius. How do you come up with this stuff? And you were how old again? 33? Wow, that is terrific. You know what you should do next? You should make a fart noise and then roll your eyelid inside out and chase one of the girls around. That would be comedy gold!!

Crimson mask! Crimson mask! Crimson mask!

How great was the Amazing Race this week? It truly was a chaotic train wreck what with Gretchen getting busted open the hard way, the brothers flipping their vehicle and nearly killing their cameraman and the insensitivity of Rob and Amber. That was a fine 2 hours of television let me tell ya. How fitting was it that Ray and his wife Deana lost this week after the constant slams he made against the old couple. "Gretchen and Meredith are sacrificial lambs. I don't want to prolong their agony." Well guess what Ray, those lambs just beat your ass! Thanks for coming out.

LOST. Such a good show. After a terribly long hiatus, LOST returned with a new episode this past week and it maintained the quality of the high standard that this show has set. Just when you think things are being revealed more and more layers are added. This is truly fantastic episodic television. And clearly John Locke is one of the most brilliant characters ever. Only five more episodes left this season. 2 hour finale on May 25th. Start planning your finale parties!

Star Wars nerd alert!!! The second volume of the Clone Wars cartoon (episodes 21-25) was utterly fantastic. Gendy Tarkovsky's cartoon companion filling in the gaps between the two films Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith has been tremendous. The second volume exceeded my expectations and served as a near perfect lead in to the third and final act in this trilogy. Episode 24 is quite honestly the best of the entire series (in my opinion, slightly surpassing the Mace Windu segment in volume one). When the three jedi's take Senator Palpatine and race across Courascant to protect him from General Grievous it is near movie quality action. Just an awesome display of animation.

Watch them now you shall-
http://www.starwars.com/clonewars/

PLUS- three TV commercials for Revenge of the Sith have debuted. (We are getting reallllly close now) The "Tragedy" spot rocks.

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=19786

I can not WAIT until this movie. Wow, I am a geek. But you still love me right?

I want more days off work!

2005-03-28T11:16:00.000-05:00

Why am I working on Easter Monday? Wasn't this an actual holiday at some point in time? I think I vaguely remember that. I recall having monday off back in my elementary school, high school and even university days. So why when we enter the work force do they renege on these holidays? How can you just take them away from us after it has been an institution for more than half our lives? So I guess the only explanation is we don't recognize this custom anymore? Or is it just that our employers get to choose if we can have it off. Give me a break. "Optional holiday" to me is almost an oxymoron.

And another thing...(I am on a roll here with the holiday bitching)

Why is it that people from other cultures and/or religious beliefs get to benefit from our holidays but we don't from theirs? For instance, the woman that runs my company is Jewish and I am pretty damn certain she didn't come into work on Good Friday. What gives? By this logic, shouldn't that mean I get Chanukkah off? Why do they get a vacation day for a holiday they don't even recognize and yet I don't? It's not fair yo.

Clearly this is why there are alternate customs to the widely known christian holidays. I guarantee that the concepts of Santa Claus and the Easter bunny were created by either a jew, a muslim, or someone else from non-christian descent. Why? Because they had to justify and maintain a reason for getting those 3 days off in December.

"Umm Habib are you sure you actually recognize Christmas?"
"I sure do...that is the time of year when...when....a big fat guy comes to our house. Yeah, yeah...comes to our house on his magical sleigh pulled by reindeers. Oh this is good and....gives...our children presents for being good. So you see Sir, I will need the 24th, 25th, and 26th off to celebrate this."

Hey, I don't blame them for coming up with other reasons to recognize these days...they like everyone, just want more days off work. I am totally cool with that. And that is why this year I will be celebrating Yom Kippur. Yes, Yom Kippur. Haven't you heard? That's the day when the magical elf Kippy comes to our homes to award us...with...with...money, yeah, money for all of our...great accomplishments from the previous year. Yeah, yeah...that'll stick.

Spring in my step

2005-03-22T09:23:00.000-05:00

Isn't it incredible how influenced we are by the elements? I feel uplifted thanks to the arrival of Spring weather. Walking into work today I felt like I had an actual spring in my step. In fact, a bird landed on my shoulder and whistled in my ear. After a brief smile, I returned the favour and whistled back at my fine feathered friend. I let out a joyous bit of laughter, winked and then spun around on a lamp post and proceeded to start singing. Strangers immediately joined my song as we all broke out in unison into a choregrophed dance number.

It was quite the scene. You should have seen it.

I like the weather is all I'm saying y'all.

Oh I'll March Break ya...right in the head!

2005-03-21T12:44:00.000-05:00

Why can't I have a March break?

God damn students...think they're so big.

Reluctantly Responsible health tip of the day: Eat Kiwi. Impress your friends by appearing tropical without even having to wear a necklace fahioned out of seashells.

They taste good and they are excellent anti-oxidants. Plus, just saying Kiwi is fun.

"What am I doing? Oh nothing, just eating a KIWI!"
"My KIWI is terrific, thanks for asking."
"Hey Honey, can you pass the KIWI!"
"Gimme back my KIWI asshole!"

What more do you want to know? Don't take my word for it-
http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=41

Beer Good!

2005-03-18T12:09:00.000-05:00

After consuming a few pints last night in celebration of St. Patty's Day, I felt it was appropriate to wax poetic on the virtues of beer.

I think I am what some would call a bit of a beer snob. I honestly don't like the Molson Canadians and Coors Lights of the world. My tastes rather fancy the likes of Heineken and Stella Artois. Please don't persecute me for my high class tastes. I am more like you than you realize.

Deejoe's Fine List of Beers-
Heineken
Stella Artois
Creemore
Steamwhistle

For those not in the know Steamwhistle is an excellent little T-dot micro beer. It has a very unique taste. Truly it is not for everyone.
http://www.steamwhistle.ca

But I think that Steamwhistle not being liked by everyone is part of its charm. I think all beer drinkers need to like an obscure beer. It is a must. Steamwhistle is definitely mine. You see Steamwhistle is the perfect beer to bring to a party. No one will pinch it. No one. You put that in the fridge and you are guarnteed it will be there everytime you make a drink run. Guys will drink ketchup before they reach for one of your Steamwhistles.

Mmmm....ketchup.

Oh wait, he's sorry...

2005-03-17T15:53:00.000-05:00

"JetsGo founder says he's sorry"
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2005/03/17/964134-cp.html

He's sorry. Oh well then...problem solved. I feel better. Y'know, that guy is alllllllllllright.

I am sure he feels truly sorry while he sits on his big ol' pile of money. Sure JetsGo went under but don't for a second fool yourself into thinking that this guy is hurting for cash.

Word to the wise, it's not enough to just say you are sorry pinhead!

2005-03-17T00:02:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Today beer is your friend.

I'm lazy but I can not explain

2005-03-16T17:11:00.000-05:00

I know what you are thinking.

a) Why have you forsaken us?
b) What happened to thy words of wisdom?
c) Where you at dawg?

If you answered c) please continue reading.

After the overwhelming events of last week (re: the carnival of crazies in Toronto. What with the man throwing his daughter onto the highway, the knife wielding man who got taken down by a cop car, the man who lit himself on fire in a rental van and the homeless woman who got run over and dragged down the road by a cop car) I thought it was best for a moment of silence.

Well, that and I was lazy.

But now I am back and all ready to give you a healthy dose of my perspective on this wacky world. Buckle up.

How about that new trailer for Star Wars Episode 3 huh? Doesn't that make you just want to go out, get drunk and beat up an ewok? That movie is gonna friggin rock! Yes, I know I have already covered this but who cares...it's the last Star Wars!! I've been waiting my whole life for this. (literally) So until May 19th you are going to have to endure my random bouts of Star Wars geekiness. Don't worry it will all be over soon.

For those that haven't seen it yet- http://movies.channel.aol.com/feature/starwars/trailer.adp

I think this is funny.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2005/03/15/961907-cp.html
"Woman sues over clown accident" That is GOLD!!! (It's funny because it's a clown. And she got hurt)

Went to a one night reunion show of one of my fav bands ever The Inbreds this past weekend. Clearly it rocked. It was a spontaneous combustion of a plan though considering I only heard about the show an hour out. I was out for a birthday party when a pal filled me in on the deats about the show. Inbreds one night only? Can't miss that. Birthday Shmirthday. Mike and Dave turned it out for an hour or so. I almost forgot how great they were. Almost. If you have never had the privledge of listening to the boys see either of the following for details-

http://www.inbreds.com
http://www.zunior.com

Did I hear this correctly? Is it true the Toronto TTC may go on strike at the end of the month? Ex-squeeze me? A baking powder? How is that possible? They just raised fares under three weeks ago. How could they ever justify going on strike? Increased fares = quit your bitchin' and run the damn train. Period.

Bruce Willis and Lindsay Lohan hooked up? What the? Apparently the 50 year old actor and 18 year old actress (who met during filming of "Just My Luck") were quite touchy feely at a recent premiere of Bruce's movie "Hostage". Okay, there is robbing the cradle and then there is ROBBING THE CRADLE. Woahhhhh. How could you Bruce? She is 18? She can't be with someone your age. She needs to be with someone...umm....my age. Give her my number.

Did she ask about me?

Oh hell yeah...

2005-03-10T23:57:00.000-05:00

Revenge of the Sith trailer debuted tonight...and I say GOD DAMN!

That trailer absolutely friggin rocked!!

Star Wars overload. Too much to process. But I will say this, when Palpatine utters "Are you threatening me Master Jedi?" and then is unleashed...sweet lord in heaven that rules. May 19th can not come fast enough for this big ol' geek.

Find the trailer somewhere online right now.

*Ahem* now back to being cool.

Soo...like...girls are like totally awesome.

The whole world's gone crazy

2005-03-09T10:09:00.000-05:00

Scanned the headlines this morning...

Russell Crowe was apparently targeted to be kidnapped by the al-Qaida terror network as part of a cultural destabilization plot. (The al-Qaida terror network...doesn't that sound like a super villain team name or what?!!?)

http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/2005/03/09/955154-ap.html

What the? CUCKOO!

Losing Russell Crowe eh? When you think about it, I don't know how undermined our culture would have really been?

Get a load of this headline: "King Tut's Death Not Violent"
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-0503090307mar09,1,4870310.story?coll=chi-newsnationworld-hed&ctrack=1&cset=true

Is there really any point in investigating the mystery of King Tut's death anymore? Really? What are we hoping to accomplish here? It's not like we can catch the guy who did it?

So what if they would have discovered that foul play was involved. What then? Well, umm...our sources indicate that the primary suspect is some other Egyptian guy that also died 3,300 years ago.

Case closed.

Reluctantly responsible...

2005-03-08T11:43:00.000-05:00

What a drag it is getting old. Mick Jagger was right on the money with that one. It is remarkable to think back to how invulnerable I felt when I was a teenager or even in my early twenties for that matter. Health issues didn't even cross your mind at that point in time. Sure we were concerned about our weight (being the socially vain creatures we were), but we ate ANYTHING, drank ANYTHING, smoked ANYTHING, and ingested ANYTHING without any regard of consequence. Repurcussions of anything we were doing never surfaced in our thoughts. If there was no pain, we were fine.

Now in my thirties, things have changed. (Thirties. Woahhhhhh...that does not read well eh? You'll still like me now that you know that I am old right? Right? I'm still with it. I am down.) The years of wear and tear start to take their toll. Things like blood pressure and cholestrol levels start to become a concern. Moderation and cold turkey become familiar adages. *Sigh* What a downer reality is.

I went for a physical earlier this year (my first in almost a decade. Is that scary or what?) and as a result I had to do an ultrasound. An ultrasound?!?! As I was being propped up, dressed in my dashing patient gown and the specialist warmed up the machine there was a brief moment where I thought "I guess I am getting old." It hit me like a ton of bricks. These types of tests just don't happen when you are younger. But they are about to become more and more regular as time will go on. They will be required almost in fact. And that thought was humbling.

Oh to be 18 and ignorantly immpenetrable again.

So now in the back of our minds we have to think about the risks and the results, the cause and the effects of everything we do. And that is sort of a depressing notion albeit responsible. But you know what, responsible is no fun. Let's be honest, feeling immortal is far more liberating. But anyone knows that is a fools way of thinking. And I be no fool. So I will be reluctantly responsible.

I'll do it...I just won't enjoy it.

Here is my Reluctantly Responsible Health Tip Of The Day- DRINK GREEN TEA. It is the miracle elixir. Honestly, a cup a day.

Don't take my word for it-
http://chinesefood.about.com/library/weekly/aa011400a.htm

Ahhh Green Tea, is there anything it can't do?

Coherent Ramblings

2005-03-05T17:50:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or doesn't the Christmas break seem like an eternity ago? It feels like forever since we had a holiday. How is it only the start of March and I am already burned out and in serious need of a vacation? We're only over two months into the year and I feel like I've got nothing left to give. *Sigh* It's the first quarter blues baby. I'm having a hard time shaking them.

The Canadian weather sure isn't helping things. This -20 nonsense is getting ridiculous even by Canuck standards. Damn that Snow Miser has been picking on us. Ease up yo...

Wanted: Dead Or Alive

I finally got to the theatres to see the film "Sideways". Great movie. Director Alexander Payne is a real talent. This is a small, eccentric, talky, character piece that is likely not for everyone but I highly recommend it. Great script and great acting. Paul Giamatti is excellent in the lead and Thomas Hayden Church (yes, the guy from from the sitcom Wings, if ya can believe it?) is terrific and truly deserved his best supporting actor nomination. Good stuff...I have an urge to plan a trip to California wine country to drink some pinot.

How friggin awesome is the show LOST? If you aren't watching this show you are seriously sick in the head. (2 out of 3 doctors agree). What is the matter with you? It's got a good looking cast and they are like...totally...lost. Honestly people, it is just phenomenal and there hasn't been a bad episode yet. And this past weeks episode with Hurley? The numbers, the numbers! Puh-lease. I have no idea what is going on...but who cares! It is the best TV show on the air. 6 weeks until the next new episode though!?!? If I may quote the Jacksons for a moment "It's torture..." (obscure Jacksons song reference alert!)

The new Amazing Race started this past week. Off to a good start, although none of the teams hate eachother enough for my liking. But it is early. Love 'em or hate 'em but Survivor's Rob and Amber are going to do well on this show.

*mental note: I watch far too much TV me thinks?

Martha Stewart is free! Martha Stewart is free! Cry redemption! You know all said and done those five months in prison are likely going to make Stewart even more successful. She is already set to star in not one but two new television series. Jailtime it seems was the best thing that could have happened to her career. Quick, someone tell Kevin Costner to get arrested!

So the Star Wars Episode 3 full trailer (clocking over 2 minutes and now jam packed with even more Wookies!) debuts this coming Thursday March 10th on the O.C. Woo Hoo! I am SO taping that. Snicker all you want. I don't care what you think of me. I LOVE Star Wars. The birth of Darth friggin' Vader y'all. I am a kid for this stuff. In fact, I just peed my pants.

Enough about me though...

2005-03-01T20:17:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have those days when you want to quit your job in a blaze of glory? Those times when you reach your boiling point of tolerance and you can't continue on with the facade? When your jadedness has elavated to unacceptable levels and you can no longer function within the walls that house the piece of shit you call a job? Where your only wish is to stand up out of your chair and proceed to liberate yourself in Jerry McGuire fashion from this self imposed prison? Like a full flame on, bridges burning departure!

I had one of those days today...again.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe tomorrow I will actually start trying to change things...

Oscar De La JOY-a

2005-02-28T10:32:00.000-05:00

"The Passion of the Christ...not that funny"

Great line.

In my opinion, Chris Rock's Oscar monologue was a huge success. The bit on Jude Law alone was worth him securing the gig next year. ("Who is Jude Law and why is he in every movie I have seen in the last four years! He's even in the movies he's not acting in. He's making cupcakes or something. He's gay, he's straight, he's American, he's British. Next year, he's playing Kareem Abdul Jabar in a movie.") Plus, his insight into how there are very few actual movie stars and just a whole lotta popular people was funny and right on target. Good stuff.

So I was 4 out of 5 on my predictions. But now that I think about it...Clive Owen over Morgan Freeman??? Am I insane? Snap out of it! No one beats E-Zee Read baby!

I enjoyed the show overall and I found the new format touches helped make the show move faster.

Random thoughts-

-Jamie Foxx's acceptance speech was really good I must say. Straight from the heart. Dude loved his grandma man....he loved her! *sniffle*

-Hey, you know what would have put the show right over the top? If Beyonce could have sang like 600 times. Oh wait, she did.

-Halle Berry is beautiful. She wants to make out with me. I CAN SENSE IT! She is saying it with her eyes.

-How you say...ahhh yes....Antonio Banderas sang. (not a great night for music was it?) Can that guy do anything without being...SOOOO sex-ay!

-Sydney Lument's acceptance speech for the lifetime achievement award was great. I dug that he thanked the movies. Nice touch. Did you get a load of Vin Diesel's hair in that glimpse from Sydney Luments new movie? What the...?

-Why in the hell did P. Diddy give out an award?

-Was it just me or did Dustin Hoffman seem really uninterested in being at the Oscars?

-How beautiful is Natalie Portman?

-Can you believe Mickey Rooney was in the audience? I thought he was dead? How old is he now? 121?

-Sean Penn. Still angry after all these years. God bless him.

-Scarlett Johanson. Mmmm. She has those things.

See ya next year Oscar!

It's Sunday...hear me roar!

2005-02-27T17:21:00.000-05:00

I am tired today...I may be bored too. But I don't think I have the energy to figure that out or not.

-So Fred Durst has a sex tape too! Damn yo...is this guy ever on the cutting edge. A celebrity sex tape? That is SO 15 minutes ago. Way to jump on the bandwagon dead last. Leave it to the frontman of Limp Bizkit to do something completely out of fashion and no longer relevant. (Eww diss) You know it is bad when the former wrestler known as Chyna beats you to something.

-Been listening to the new Bright Eyes album "I'm wide awake, it's morning" on a suggestion from a pal. Glad I did. Really good full flavored, dreamy folk music. Lead singer Conor Oberst is a damn fine songwriter (albeit somewhat pensively eccentric). Probably the best mellow album since Beck's "Sea Change".

-I think this is funny: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1297669.html?menu=
Funny in a "wow, people are crazy" kind of funny.

-It's the Oscars tonight. I think the most anticipated element of this years show is the debut of Chris Rock as host. Clearly they are looking to attract a younger audience. Hopefully Rock will deliver that because it's not like the content of the show is a big lure. Considering 90% of people haven't seen any of the movies up for the awards!?!? Here are my picks for those keeping tabs at home:
Best Picture: Million Dollar Baby
Best Director: Clint Eastwood
Best Actor: Jamie Foxx (A guarantee if there ever was one. Bet the life savings...)
Best Actress: Hilary Swank
Best Supporting Actor: Clive Owen
Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett

And I am spent...

After I clear the cobwebs a bit maybe I will get an early start on the festivities and tune into one of the countless Academy Awards pre-shows. I feel I have a strong desire to hate something with the intensity of a thousand suns right now. Hmmm...what channel is Joan and Melissa Rivers dragging down the entire civilization on?

Good Morning TV Viewers!

2005-02-25T14:15:00.000-05:00

I always have the television on in the background as I get ready before I go to work. It's a morning ritual. I tune into one of those morning news magazine type show thing-a-majigs to get a quick update on the weather, the traffic and to make sure the world hasn't ended before I begin my trek to work.

These morning shows are probably the breeziest, lightest and most humbled news squads going eh? What a crack group this is. Regardless of what city you live in these shows are EXACTLY the same. Every show, whether it's Breakfast Television in Toronto or Get Outta Bed Buffalo, are made up of the exact same cast. Without fail they include-

-The warm and clueless woman host (99.9% guarantee the host will be a woman. You need a woman for that warm welcome in the morning. It also helps if this woman has no interviewing skills or knows as little as humanly possible about current events)
-The trusted newsman. (Washed up local nightly news guy who is clearly putting on a happy face while he tailspins towards the end of his career)
-The goofy sports guy (My segment is only 45 seconds long but I gots to take a jab at that local sports team! Boo Yaa!)
-The annoyingly friendly on-location reporter (Today we are down visiting the Elmwood dairy farm and we're going to learn how milk gets pasteurized and I hate my life...back after these messages!)
-The scared to death to be on camera traffic reporter (He...he....heaaa...heaaavv...vvv...heavy tr...tr....traffic....*find your happy place*....umm, today.)
-The ethnic weatherman (It's -5 and overcast with a slight chance of flurries and once again I remind you, I am middle Eastern.)

I, like most people, watch these shows for a total of 5 minutes to catch the weather if nothing else. But if you do happen to catch an extended length of these morning shows you realize they are about complete and utter fluff. It has to be light and non-threatening first thing in the morning it seems. This week I caught a scintillating interview with the world latte art champion. Yes, you read that correctly. The world latte (as in a strong espresso coffee with a topping of frothed steamed milk) ART champion. Latte art? There is actually a championship competition for the designs you can make the froth in your latte look like? Come again? What is next? The milk bubbles tournament?

This interview was a 10 minute segment...

Bringing you the news you need every morning! Clearly I should just sleep in...

Relief from the undesired discussion

2005-02-22T19:51:00.000-05:00

I've learned that regardless of how friendly a person you may be, we all have our moments when we are cold, uninterested and selectively introverted creatures. Times when we just don't want to entertain conversation. Unfortunately there are many situations in life when we are unwillingly thrust into these undesired discussions. Be it the unexpected "bump into", small talk with little known acquaintances, or the exchanges with chatty people in the service industry (i.e. salespeople, waiters, cab drivers etc). Despite our best wishes to avoid such moments, they are ultimately inevitable. We reluctantly accept that in order to participate in this society we at times will have to engage in unwanted conversations.

Knowing this and seeing as how most of us don't long to be rude by outright ignoring someone we have developed a response system for these types of situations. It includes a number of phrases that we use to create the illusion that we are actively involved in the conversation although in reality we are not. Such as:

-"Tell me about it..."
-"I hear ya..."
-"Really eh?..."
-"No kidding huh?..."
-"Yeah, I know..."
-"Get outta here..."
-"That's too funny..."

All of these retorts can effortlessly be applied in all unwanted conversations. Such as the "How about that weather today?" debate, or the "Did you catch that item in the news" discourse, and the "A funny thing happened to me today" deliberation. These autoresponse tactics help us get through these undesired exchanges less painfully and get on with our isolated and unfriendly days.

In fact, the ultimate goal is that upon hearing these phrases over and over again, the people trying to strike up these conversations will eventually get the hint and just stop. Meaning: If someone replies to your next dissertation with "Tell me about it..." YOU JUST DON'T.

Ohhhhh that Paris

2005-02-21T19:14:00.000-05:00

In a story that could only seemingly have happened to Paris Hilton (Or maybe Tara Reid too....and okay, Lindsay Lohan as well I guess), the young socialite/hotel heiress recently had her cellphone hacked. The unathorized access to the "famous for simply being famous" blonde's phone revealed a list of celebrity cellphone numbers saved in Paris' address book including the likes of Vin Diesel, Eminem, Christina Aguilera and Ashlee Simpson (to name but a few)

"Hopefully someone hacks your phone gorgeous, so people can see this picture"
"That would be hot"

In addition a collection of photos taken by Hilton's phone were uncovered.

And...

And...

(wait for it)

Annnnnnd of course she is naked in half of them. I mean what did you expect? This is Paris Hilton she couldn't possibly have clothes on!

http://www.deansplanet.com/paris_cell_phone-hacked.html

For the love of God Paris, can your life not be a train wreck for even a week? I'm getting tired of looking.

Random Sunday Musings...

2005-02-20T15:27:00.000-05:00

Sundays have a unique feel to them. It's quite unlike any other day. On one hand they serve as a chance to decompress from the activities of the weekend yet equally they act as the calm before the storm of your work week. It's like a strange brew of uppers and downers. I find I can never sleep on Sunday nights. But that just might be me...

Anywho. So what's going on?

-So Survior Palau started this past thursday. How good looking is this cast? God damn.

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor10/

Clearly this is the most fit group that has ever played the game. I am torn between Jennifer and Kim as my early favourites. But I am sure they will eventually do something that I will hate. But for now, I love...

Oh and that freak English Teacher Wanda realllllllllllllllllly had a chance. Shyeah.

"Hello my name is Wanda. I enjoy singing and getting kicked off Surivor in 10 minutes."

-How bad is the new site design for Aintitcool.com? http://www.aintitcool.com Not that I am one of them html designer whatchamicallits...but yuck. Not user friendly as the kids say.

-Anyone else interested in seeing Chris Rock host the Oscars next week? I sure as hell am. I understand with the Academy Awards there needs to be a fine balance between tradition and contemporary. The MTV Movie Awards these ain't. But it is about time the Academy Awards did something daring again. (The last time they took a chance was when they hired David Letterman to host. I may be alone here but I actually enjoyed that year.) Billy Crystal was good but his time has passed and Whoopi Goldberg...well, the less said the better. I think Rock will do a good job. God knows he's a good enough comic. But hopefully he remembers the room he's playing to.

Andddddddddddddd I'm spent.

Don't you dare smile yo!

2005-02-20T12:04:00.000-05:00

Why is it not cool to smile anymore?

Am I so out of touch? When did displaying a favourable disposition become sooo uncool? What is with the constant stoic stares and stone cold scowls? We all get it, you are thugs and you are all very, very tough bla bla bla but honestly people...is happy that bad? I didn't realize the only way to exhibit coolness was through a tough demeanor. Is being harsh and indifferent the sole indication of being cool nowadays? Sort of a limited propisition if you ask me.

Don't get me wrong I am not expecting a dorky Urkel smile fer christ sakes...but enough already with the endless unaffected and tough as nails facades. Would it really hurt your credibility THAT much to flash those pearly whites every once in awhile?

We'll get through this...together!

2005-02-16T22:37:00.000-05:00

After what seemed like an eternity, it was finally announced today that the NHL had officially cancelled the 2005 hockey season.

This really sucks.

Can you fathom the repercussions of this? Octopus sales are going to plummet. Do you realize how many drunk freaks will now be denied the chance to obnoxiously scream their favourite team's name out of their car windows? You can forget about chanting "Go Leafs Go" every freakin' second. That's but a fading memory. And what is this going to do to the face painting movement? I shutter to think...

This is a sad day my friends. No hockey. It's a hard concept to grasp. What are men to do?

I will tell you what we do my brothers...we stay steadfast and strong. We keep our heads up. We support one another during these dark times. And most of all, albeit a painful thought, we move on. It's going to be a rough but I know we can do it.

And here's how...

There, there, that's right little hockey fan put the cancellation of the season out of your mind and just stare at scantily clad Caprice. Her warm glow will make things better.

Today I make this vow...If I have to post a picture of a bodacious babe up every single day to help all men get over this tragedy, then God as my witness I will.

The healing starts now!

Another Day, Another Holla

2005-02-15T20:10:00.000-05:00

What a weekend, a weekend of loveeeeeeeeeeeeee. Oh yes, lovers across the world celebrated the vaunted St. Valentine's Day this weekend past (and um, monday the actual day for all of you out there paying attention). It truly was a special time to be a couple. Right? Gang...who's with me?

Clearly you don't want to hear another rant about how Valentines day is nothing more than a fabricated holiday created by a freakin' card company. Surely you have no interest in reading about how there is really no meaning behind these acts of romance when they are being dictated or forced by a public event. (Lesson for the lost: Romance can not be commanded) You've heard that all before. It's a tired subject.

And quite honestly I had already covered the topic succinctly in a previous life. (shameless plug to an old website)

http://www.boldopinion.com/iloveyou.htm

So what else is going on?

I saw the movie "Million Dollar Baby" recently. A powerful film to say the least with excellent acting. Clint Eastwood and Hillary Swank are in fine form. (Swank clearly is a frontrunner to win the Oscar) And I was reminded yet again of how great an actor Morgan Freeman is. Wow, the man is a workhorse. My only warning is this...be prepared for a tough viewing experience. Happy this film is not. Upon exiting the theatre there was an overbearing silence. I mean complete absence of sound. I was tempted to take a haul off a laughing gas canaster to make sure I was still capable of expressing an amused emotion. Damn...

Hey, who is pudgy mcpudge?

Guess who? It's Britney Spears. Yup, Britney has been hitting the booze, smokes, and fast food rock hard y'all. Call me rudely superficial but when you spend the better part of your career flashing off your body you make yourself a bit of a target for analysis.

Just a few more days until the new Survivor. Allllllllllllllright. That's right, I am still excited by Survivor even at 10 seasons. (wow, that sounds like a lot) I know reality shows have a really bad rep and most of the time it is warranted. The majority of them are awful. And I've about had it with all of these matchmaking monstrosities. (Bachelor, Bachelorette, Average Joe, Joe Millionaire, Yo I just married Darnell, Please Marry My Half Blind, Half Senile Granddad crap) But truth be told, the originals like Surivor, Big Brother and Amazing Race are still great television. I don't care what anyone says. Surivior is still must see TV in my opinion.

I expect my cheque to arrive any minute Mark Burnett...

Andddddd I'm spent.

Help us, help you

2005-02-11T10:22:00.000-05:00

I read the news today ohhhh boy...

Police are currently searching for a man in the T-Dot who reportedly has been luring women at donut stores, offering them jobs and then sexually assaulting them.

This is yet another fine example of how there are some CRAAAAAzy people just out beyond our doors. Clearly this monster needs to be captured and stopped. That goes without saying...

But I must admit this freaks thus far successful methods are what I find somewhat surprising.

Okay, not that I wish harm on anyone...but if you are at a donut store, late in the evening and some stranger approaches you and offers you a job AND you accept this job proposal...ummm what were you expecting? I mean come on folks....not to wish ill on anyone but how much can we really protect you if you are going to willingly participate in such actions? There is only SO much the police can do. You have to be somewhat liable for your actions no?

Accepting a job offer at a donut store at 3 in the morning??? Yeah, that sounds normal. This is clearly on the up and up. Better take that coffee and cruller to go!!! *Ahem* If you are susceptible to solicitations like this...well, we can only help you so much.

People smarten up!!!!!

SOOOOOO amazing?

2005-02-09T17:53:00.000-05:00

As much as I love the Amazing Race....and I do, oh how I do, (CLEARLY the best reality show ever. If nothing else it serves as the greatest travel brochure around) I regrettably have to say I was somewhat let down with last nights season finale. First of all, those two annoying models Freddy and Kendra won the damn thing. Ughhh, boo to that. Her quote when describing Ethiopia "It's like they choose to be poor. It's quite refreshing" is the early contender for the dumbest thing said on the planet in 2005. I mean, come on...who didn't want Kris and Jon (aka the almost annoyingly happy and positive blonde couple) to win? So happy??? Good people them Jon and Kris. Good people.

But I also found there was very little suspense as compared to previous seasons in the final hour of this series ender. It was just a lot of flying and eating deep dish pizza??!? We spend the show travelling the planet doing death defying stunts to have it all climax in Chicago with them eating two slices of god damn pizza? What's so amazing about that? And what was with Kendra being all Fear Factor and gagging on that second slice? It's two slices of deep dish friggin' pizza? Eating disorder or not it's not like they were asking them to eat a foot long Calzone covered in fire ants. Puh-lease.

Oh well, still a great show. And just think only 3 weeks till the next season starts. Man oh man are they pumpin these suckas out! Who cares...it's got Boston Rob and Amber from Survivor on it! Reality TV overload!

*ahem*

That is all.

Me So Artsy

2005-02-08T19:01:00.000-05:00

Oh my god stop it now Gwen Stefani.

Honestly, get over yourself. Sure you are a pretty successful songstress both in your No Doubt outfit and as a solo artist. I mean let's be honest you are far from a hack. If nothing else that "Hellagood" track kicks ass (Thanks Neptunes!) You have had some recent success dabbling in acting in the Aviator. You have your own clothing line. (But who doesn't these days? Well besides me and perhaps...no, no...pretty much just me) And last but not least you are a sexy little vixen. Grrrrrr. But this latest little artsy escapade is far too much even for someone of your...*ahem* credibility.

In case you haven't heard, Gwen has an entourage of Asian girls who are constantly by her side (and in her videos) whom she won't let anyone speak to or have any contact with because they are her "imagination". Right. Are we taking ourselves a little too serious Ms. Stefani? Who do you think you are? You know there is a fine line between being eccentric and just being frickin' annoying. I don't care how creative you think you are or how much of an Andy Warhol complex you are currently suffering from...your imagination is pompous and ridiculous.

Go ahead be unconventional, be original, be artsy even. But first, how about you pull your head up out of your own ass before you do it.

And soon I'll be gone

2005-02-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

What the hell was that?

Well...Family Guy it is not. Or wait, maybe it's exactly Family Guy with just lame knock off characters and none of the funny.

Me thinks I'll just wait for new episodes of the REAL Family Guy in May!

Be gone American Dad! Go join Fish Police and the PJ's in cartoon hell!

The Best Part...Was The Tackling!

2005-02-07T09:09:00.000-05:00

What a game! God damn am I exhausted from all the excitment. I mean I've seen nail biters in my time, but man oh man not like that one...does this sound even remotely convincing?

No?

Ummm...I think the Patriots won. I believe I overheard my buddy's girlfriend saying the team in the white trunks scored more goalpoints than the other squadron.

Now...let's get down to the real matter at hand.

After long deliberation, I am convinced we have a tie for the best commercial of the night. Your winners ladies and gentlemen- The star studded P. Diddy Diet Pepsi ad and the Burt Reynolds FedEx ad. That's gold Jerry, GOLD! Good stuff by both. Take a look...but ladies please resist the temptation to watch the Brad Pitt Heineken ad, it sucks! Despite his hunkiness.

http://dyn.ifilm.com/superbowlads/

I think the biggest news to come out of the night though is that XXX is back baby! Yahhh! I hope he drives a car supa slick XXX style! Different star (Ice Cube is pimpin' this ride) but same ol' X!!!

(Sarcasm alert! Sarcasm alert!)

XXX State of the Union??!? We may have sunk to a new low my friends. You know it's bad when Vin Diesel refuses to appear in a sequel. And apparently he turned this mess down to star in the Pacifier. (It's this generations Kindergarten Cop!) Poor Vin Diesel....will he ever win?

Random shilling...

2005-02-05T16:59:00.000-05:00

Best new website alert!

http://ask.yahoo.com

For those of us who crave boatloads of meaningless information in our daily lives or perhaps just need training for our yearly participation in games of trivial pursuit...this is THE destination. Have you ever wondered why pretzels are shaped the way they are? Or pondered why John Wayne was nicknamed the Duke? Of course you have...don't be afraid to admit you lose sleep over these and such other insignificant queries. Ask Yahoo has all the answers buttercup. Thanks to this website I finally have peace in my life because I now know how Lifesavers candies got their name. Their inventor thought they looked like little life preservers. Who knew? WHO?

I can't believe I am actually promoting the virtues of a Yahoo product (I like to think I am counter mainstream?) but this is a pretty cool website. This is the sort of shit the internet was made for. Come on people...hours wasted. You now have something to do at work!

Peace out yo.

Enjoy the big game...or for the majority of the population, enjoy the commercials!

Big Sun Keep On Burning...

2005-02-05T12:29:00.001-05:00

It be warm in Canada!

-30 a week ago. Smog alerts today. The schizophrenic weather continues and Canadians couldn't be happier. Canucks are running haywire in the streets peeling off gortex and throwing down gloves in acts of unparalleled joy.

Should we be concerned? Don't worry it's only the end of the world.

Top o' the world ma!

2005-02-04T17:03:00.000-05:00

Look at me. I am on the "internet". The world wide web. This is going to be the best website...EVER!

I am going to take the "online" into dangerous new places.

Perhaps I will rant about movies, post pictures of babies dancing or link to porn.

Information Superhighway....welcome to the future!